Comfortably Numb: What can You do in Therapy if You are Feeling Numb?
Feeling numb might be one of the most misunderstood feelings. If you are feeling numb, you might even think you are okay, yet you feel ill at ease and seem to know something is off. Everything just feels a little dull, like the world is in grayscale. You may feel a fog over your thoughts and find yourself being more forgetful, struggling to focus, or losing track of time easily. You can tell that your life is slipping by, but you are not sure how to click back in.
At its worst, you might turn to substances to spark something in you. Excesses of other kinds might also crop up. Over-spending, overeating, zoning out to the TV for hours at a time, mindless scrolling on TikTok or Instagram, reading the comments section of a Facebook thread 75 comments in at 2 am. We've all felt it at some point, but there is a point where you might wonder if it's out of hand.
For example, emotional numbness and associated behaviors might be getting in the way of sticking to healthy routines and caring for yourself. It is a common symptom of depression and other mental health issues. Emotional numbness can also be a response to trauma and feelings of overwhelm. It can sometimes accompany ADHD and other forms of neurodivergence as a response to a mind that is far too over-stimulated and shuts down, unable to decide how to move forward.
Whatever the cause, it might feel like you don't want to go to therapy. After all, you're not aware of feeling any overtly negative feelings like being sad or angry. You might even just want to be left alone because the idea of having to even go to therapy seems exhausting and stressful. I'm here to encourage you to show up and work through those feelings. Sometimes the best thing to do is to be vulnerable and admit to your therapist that you're feeling numb, drained, and not sure what to do.
Therapists are trained to work with all kinds of feelings, and working with a trauma-informed therapist can absolutely help you break through the glass wall. In my counseling sessions, I like to incorporate the following approaches when clients are feeling numb:
Slow down and take a few deep breaths.
Numbness is often a response to overwhelming and chronically stressful emotions such as anger, sadness, stress, or loneliness. Taking a few deep breaths can combat the feeling of overwhelm and slow things down enough for you to click into the present moment. If you feel safe enough to do so, closing your eyes can also help. Sometimes it takes pausing and going inwards for your feelings to surface. Deep breathing and closing your eyes can help clear out your thoughts and slow them down enough that you can actually hear them clearly again. Let your therapist know when you are ready to keep going. It is okay to take your time with this. Sharing silence can be healing too.
Engage in Expressive Arts Therapy Techniques: Drawing
Therapeutic drawing works on a number of levels to heal emotional pain. I might suggest a prompt that is related to the work we've been doing. For example: "Draw me a picture of yourself at work" or "Draw yourself as a rosebush paying special attention to how well you're growing, where you're planted, who's tending to you, etc." As your therapist, I can guide you through different questions to consider. If you don't like my suggestion, tell me, and we can find one that works for you. The point is not to make a masterpiece; it's to create something personal to you. When you draw, you are processing non-verbal thoughts and feelings. This process can cut through overwhelm and overstimulation, helping you access deeper emotions that might not be verbally accessible to you at the moment. Drawing can also help form new physical memories in your body and mind, facilitating the healing of past traumas and the creation of new connections.
Use the Sand Tray
A sand tray is a therapeutic device used by some play therapists. It is a medium for telling stories. The therapist has a tray filled with sand (mine is glittery white and the softest sand I could find!) and a collection of miniature figurines. The figurines are visual representations of different things and can work on a literal or symbolic level. For example, a tiger might literally be used as a tiger in your story or it might be used to represent your anger, or a mean relative, etc. Or perhaps, if tigers are a positive symbol for you it might be a loving protector or a representation of your feelings of strength. In this way, the sand tray and miniatures have an endless repertoire of stories that can be told. Each time is different and the symbols can be interpreted in millions of ways.
Tell a Story
Narrative therapy is an approach that focuses on the stories we tell ourselves about our lives. During therapy, I might invite you to tell a story, whether it's a personal experience, a fictional tale, or even a metaphorical narrative. By externalizing your feelings and experiences through storytelling, you can gain new perspectives, challenge negative beliefs, and explore alternative possibilities for growth and healing.
Share a Song or Create a Playlist
Music has a way of evoking emotions and memories. Sharing a song or creating a playlist that resonates with you can be a powerful therapeutic tool. Whether it's a song that reflects your current emotional state or one that holds special meaning for you, discussing and listening to music in therapy can help access and express emotions that might be difficult to put into words.
Write
Writing can be a cathartic and transformative process. Keeping a journal, writing letters to yourself or others, or engaging in expressive writing exercises can help you explore your thoughts and feelings. The act of putting pen to paper allows for self-reflection, introspection, and the externalization of emotions. Writing can be a valuable tool in processing and making sense of your experiences.
Working through emotional numbness in therapy is a courageous and transformative journey. By slowing down, engaging in art therapy, telling stories, sharing songs, and writing, you can begin to unravel the layers of numbness and reconnect with your emotions. Remember, it's okay to take your time, be vulnerable, and communicate your feelings in therapy. Together, we can navigate the path to healing, growth, and emotional well-being. If you're ready to embark on this journey, reach out. As a trauma-informed counselor I can support you along the way.
References:
"Narrative Therapy for Depression: Case Study of a Pakistani Woman" Authors: Khan, A., Khalily, M.T. Published: International Journal of Psychology and Behavioral Sciences, 2017 DOI: 10.11648/j.ijpbs.20170503.16
"Expressive Arts Therapy for Traumatized Children and Adolescents: A Systematic Review" Authors: Malchiodi, C.A., Wind, T.R. Published: Frontiers in Psychology, 2020 DOI: 10.3389/fpsyg.2020.589641
"Emotional Numbness and Disconnection in Depression: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis" Authors: van Dijk, S.D.M., Jansen, T.A., Moolenaar, M. et al. Published: Journal of Affective Disorders, 2020 DOI: 10.1016/j.jad.2020.07.116